The First Step To The Rest Of Our Life
by lolacola01
Summary: Brian gets an invitation to his cousins wedding and as usual plans on taking Lindsay as his 'date'. It's not until the last minute that he decides that he wants Justin with him instead. The wedding takes place and secrets are revealed.


Brian had heard a lot of great sounds in his life. Like the sound of his loft door slamming shut after he finally managed to get a trick to leave. Or the sound of a condom wrapper being opened by some hot twinks teeth, but the best sound he'd ever heard in his thirty years was happening in front of him right now. He had just arrived home from work to find Lindsay sitting on his sofa with a wide smile on her face as she watched Justin and Gus playing together on the floor. Brian gave a silent hi to Lindsay before joining her to watch his young lover and son giggling together as they played with one of Gus's toy cars.

"They've been doing this for twenty minutes," Lindsay whispered quietly in Brian's ear as he threw himself down beside her.

"What exactly are they laughing at?" Brian whispered back as Justin threw his head back laughing hard at whatever Gus was doing.

"I have no idea."

"So why are you here?" Brian asked after a few more seconds of watching Justin and Gus together.

"Your son was asking for Justin," Lindsay answered without taking her eyes off of the boys in front of her.

"Asking for..." Brian pulled a face. "Gus can't even talk yet."

"He's been pointing to a picture and crying all day," Lindsay explained. "Justin missed his bedtime story last night and I guess the little guy missed it."

"Bed time... what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Justin comes and reads to Gus every night before you guys go out." Brian falls silent as he turns his head to look at Justin again. "You didn't know?" Lindsay sits up to look at Brian. "Justin doesn't tell you?"

"I'm not his fucking owner," Brian snapped. "He doesn't have to tell me everything. And why the fuck is he doing that?"

"He loves Gus." Lindsay shifts so that she is laying back against the sofa again. "He's really good with him."

Justin takes this moment to finally look up and see Brian for the first time. "You're home." Brian watches silently as Justin stands up with Gus in his arms and walks towards him. "Look Gus, Daddy's home."

"Hey Sonny boy," Brian smiles as Justin places his baby boy in his arms. His eyes stay on Justin as his young lover walks away.

"Anyway, that's not the only reason I came by," Lindsay interrupts. "I got an email from Ellen last night."

"Who?"

"Your cousin." Lindsay rolls her eyes. "She's getting married." Brian ignores Lindsay as Justin comes walking back towards him with a sandwich in his hand. "She said she sent you an invitation months ago and you still haven't got back to her."

"And she didn't take that as a hint?" Brian asks.

"She wants you there."

"I'm not fucking going," Brian snaps just as Justin stops in front of him.

"Why not?" Justin asks as he takes a bite out of the sandwich.

"None of your fucking business," Brian snaps at him.

"Don't talk to him like that," Lindsay scolds before turning her attention to Justin. "He doesn't want to go because he's not out to his parents."

"Shut the fuck up Lindsay."

"I know you're not out to your parents," Justin smirks. "But what's that got to do with your cousin's wedding?"

"Going to her wedding means pretending to be straight for a few hours."

Justin smirks back down at his lover causing Brian to be even more pissed off then he already was. "Back off Sunshine."

"I think you should go," Justin shrugs as he bends down to take Gus back in his arms again. "You hardly see your family, and I think it would be good for you."

Brian sits back against the sofa while Lindsay continued to stare at him. "Tell him why it wouldn't be good for you."

"That's it, get out." Brian stands up and points towards the loft door. "And take the twink with you."

"What did I do?"

"Brian can't go to the wedding because it means he has to pretend to be straight." Lindsay ignores Brian's dirty looks. "And he won't be able to show up alone."

"Why not?"

"Oh for fucks sake," Brian curses as he stands up. "If I go to this wedding then I have to bring a date."

"Like a woman?" Justin's smile is now wide causing Brian to take a step towards him. "You would have to actually take a woman? Like you were dating a woman."

"Not a woman," Brian answers dryly as he looks over his shoulder at Lindsay. "A fucking dyke."

"No fucking way," Justin laughs.

"We've been going on pretend dates to Brian's family parties since collage." Lindsay explained.

"No fucking way," Justin repeats just as Brian takes another step forward.

"I'm holding your son." Justin uses Gus as a shield.

"There is no way I'm going to this fucking thing."

"You know you have to," Lindsay points out smugly. "You Dad would freak if you miss it."

Brian knows that. He knew that the moment the invitation came through his door that he would have to show up. He would have to paint on his fake smile and spend the day pretending to be in love with Lindsay. "And what's Mel's going to say?"

The smug look slips from Lindsay's face. "Oh yeah, I forgot about her."

"She's not going to be too happy that her little wife is taking a trip to straightsville."

"She'll understand."

"Not Likely."

"Of course she'll understand," Justin takes that moment to butt in again. "Mel's not the jealous type." Justin has only closed his mouth when Brain and Lindsay both turn to give him the same look. "Maybe you could break it to her gently."

"Leave that to me," Lindsay says as she takes Gus out of Justin's arms. "Just makes sure Brian is up and sober Saturday morning."

"Saturday morning?" Brian snaps.

"As in two days time?" Justin peeks over Brian's shoulder.

"You should have answered the invitation when it first came."

"Fuck," Brian hisses as Lindsay walks towards the loft door.

"And remember to get a new suit."

"Fuck."

…...

"I think it's romantic."

Brian followed Justin around the store as they searched for the perfect 'straight looking' suit for him to wear at the wedding. "I think it's pathetic. I've met the guy Ellen's marrying. Total closet case."

Justin stops walking to turn and look up at Brian. "Did you fuck him?"

"Closet case," Brian repeats slowly.

"Did you fuck him?" Justin repeats with one of his famous wide grins. Brian's answer comes in the form of a deep intake of breathe. "You fucked him." Justin laughs. "You fucked your cousin's husband."

"He was her boyfriend, and that's not the point. The point is I don't want to go witness their weird little fucking display of affection. I'd rather be getting teeth pulled."

"Well I still think it's romantic," Justin muses.

"Please don't tell me you've got a hard on for weddings." Brian stops at a bright pink shirt feeling it between his fingers.

"Lindsay would kill you if you wear that, and no... I don't have a hard on for weddings. I just think it's nice to witness two people being mature enough to admit their feelings for each other in front of a room full of their family and friends."

Brian looked past Justin to a row of suits hanging on a rail. "They'll be divorced in under a year."

"Aren't you romantic?" Justin sighed as he followed Brian towards the suits.

"These are perfect."

"They are." Just traced his finger over the arm of the suit jacket. "You would look handsome in this."

"I look handsome in everything," Brian replied smugly as he grabbed the suit from the rail. Brian wandered off to buy the suit leaving Justin to continue looking around. Once he was done making sure the sales assistant didn't bash the suit while she was wrapping it, Brian went back to where he had left Justin five minutes earlier. "Ready?" Brian's eyes followed where Justin was looking. "What?"

"That suit."

"What about it?" Brian shrugged as he looked at a light gray suit on the window display.

"My Dad used to have one just like it. He used to let me wear the jacket when we went out to family dinners at fancy restaurants."

"And?" Brian sighed impatiently.

"He told me he would buy me one just like it when I turn eighteen."

"Oh." Brian looked towards the suit. "Guess that won't be happening now."

"He told Molly he doesn't want anything to do with me."

Brian reached out to touch Justin's shoulder but stopped himself before he made contact. "We better go. I've got shit to do." Brian give Justin a few seconds to compose himself before nudging him towards the exit.

…...

"Okay, his nap time is at two. His blanket is in the bottom of his bag, and if he cries to much and you can't calm him down take him to Debs."

Justin followed Lindsay around the loft as she gave him his orders for the day. "Got it."

"Will you relax." Brian came out of the bathroom fully dressed and looking amazing. "Sunshine knows what he's doing."

"I know he does," Lindsay sighs. "I trust Justin completely."

"Thank you," Justin smiled wide. "And I trust you to look after Brian."

Lindsay took a look to her side where Brian stood fixing his hair in the mirror. "Christ, are you sure?"

"He'll be on his best behavior."

"We're going to be late." Brian ignores the playful look Justin was now giving him as he gave Gus a forehead kiss. "Be good, Sonny boy."

"Have fun," Justin smiles wide as Brian goes in for a kiss.

"Be good, Sunshine."

Lindsay followed Brian into the elevator with a wide smile on her face.

"What?" Brian punched the button with his fist as the elevator door closed.

"I think it's cute."

"What's cute?"

"You...him."

"What the fuck are you going on about now?"

"Do you realize you talk to Justin in the same tone you use for Gus?"

Brian turned to look at the mother of his child. "I don't do that."

"There is so much love in your voice." Lindsay's tone is playful but Brian knows she's being serious. "You love him."

"Gus? Sure I love him."

"Justin," Lindsay corrects. "You love him and he loves you."

"Did you get high before picking me up?" Brian pulls open the elevator door to walk out but Lindsay grips his hand stopping him.

"You've let that cute little twink get inside you and now you love him."

"Yep you've defiantly gotten high."

"You know I would be completely comfortable with him becoming Gus's second Daddy," Lindsay smirks. "You guys could have him on the weekends. Gus could call him Papa."

"That's it." Brian slams the elevator door and punches the button again.

"Where are we going."

"You're not coming with me to the wedding," Brian snaps. "I can't listen to you all day."

"Why? Does the truth hurt?"

Brian throws open the elevator door and pushes Lindsay into the loft. "Justin get dressed."

"What?" Justin sits up from the sofa with Gus on his knee. "What's going on?"

"You're coming to the wedding with me."

"I am?"

"He is?" Lindsay chokes back a laugh.

"Go get dressed." Brian takes Gus out of Justin's arms and pushes him towards the bedroom.

"I don't have anything to wear."

"Back of the closet in the black bag." Brian waves Justin off. "And hurry up."

"What about your Dad?" Lindsay comes to stand behind Brian. "He's going to have questions."

"I'll figure it out."

"You're not going to come out at your cousin's wedding, are you?"

"You should take Gus home now." Brian looks up as Justin comes back out of the bedroom with the black bag in his hand.

"You bought the suit?"

"Go put it on."

"You bought me this?" Justin fights hard to stop himself from crying.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"I told Brian that my Dad was going to buy me this suit when I turn eighteen," Justin answers causing Brian groan low. "I've always wanted a suit like this."

"You better hurry up and get dressed or I'm going without you." Brian watches as Justin smiles wide before spinning around and going back into the bedroom.

"You bought him the suit he always wanted?" Lindsay's teasing tone is gone, and now she looks shocked.

"It was supposed to be for his birthday." Brian kisses Gus's head before handing him back to Lindsay. "Don't."

"Don't?"

"Don't say anything, and don't do anything. I don't want to see a smile coming from you. Just take my son home and enjoy your free day."

Lindsay nodded as she took Gus in her arms. "Enjoy your wedding."

"Like that's going to happen."

…...

Brian notices all the familiar faces of his family as he enters the church with Justin by his side. He also notices the way heads start turning as he walks down the middle of the isle.

"Are you sure about this?" Justin whispers. "Everyone's looking."

"They're checking out the hot guy in the suit."

"I really don't think your family are checking you out."

"I was talking about you." Brian pauses as he looks down at the pews. "We're here."

Justin looks down to find Brian's parents and sister looking up at him. "Hi."

Brian nudges him into the pew forcing him to sit down next to his Mother. "Sorry we're late."

"We?" Brian's mother asks as she looks Justin over.

"Right." Brian forces himself to look at his parents as he talks. "This is Justin...Justin this is my family."

"Hi," Justin says with his usual happy smile.

Brian's father gives his son a confused look. "Where's your date?"

"This is..."

"I'm his PA," Justin interrupts before Brian can say anything else. "We have a meeting to go to later tonight."

"And Lindsay?" Brian's sister asks.

"She had to work," Justin answers. "I'm her replacement." Brian finds himself having to look away as his father looks at him.

"Well it's nice to meet you, Justin," Brian's mother puts on her fake politeness. "We never meet any of Brian's friends."

Justin gives the older woman a warm smile. "It's nice to meet you too Mrs. Kinney."

…...

Brian makes his round around the reception saying hello to all of his family while Justin trails behind him repeating his PA lie. Once he's happy that he's talked to everyone he takes Justin back to their table where his mother and sister are.

"Your father has went to the bar with the other men if you boys want to go join him."

Justin takes a seat next to Brian's mother who has taken quite a shine to the younger man. "I much prefer the company of woman."

"Brian chokes on his wine as he looks across the table. "Yeah, Justin's a bit of a ladies man," he says as he wipes his chin.

"I bet he is," Brian's mom smiles. "A handsome man like you. I bet you have your pick."

"He knows how to pick," Brian teases as he flicks Justin's ear.

"So how long have you been working for Brian?" Brian's sister interrupts. "I always thought his PA was a woman."

"He's got two now," Justin answers.

Brian's mother looks at her son warmly. "You must be doing well for yourself."

"He's doing amazingly well," Justin answers again. "He's the best in the company."

"Okay Sunshine," Brian laughs. "enough of stroking my ego."

"Sunshine?" Brian's sister looks at her brother.

"It's what Deb calls me," Justin explains between mouthfuls of wedding cake.

"I can see why." Brian's mother reaches over to take Justin's hand in his own. "I've really had a wonderful time getting to know you today."

"Me too."

Brian looked between his mother and Justin with a look of confusion on his face. He had been friends with Micheal for almost twenty years and his mother had not once shown one bit of interest in him, but she's known Justin no more than four hours and she's all over him like he was the latest handbag in style. "So we should go." Brian sends a warning look to Justin. "Get prepared for those meetings."

"You can't go." Brian's mom grips Justin's hand tighter in her own as she gives her son a pleading look. "I haven't even gotten a dance from Justin yet."

Justin is up on his feet holding out his hand for Mrs. Kinney to take before Brian can even open his mouth and tell her Justin doesn't dance. He watches silently with his sister by his side as Justin and his mother begin to dance among his other family members on the dance floor.

"Is he your boyfriend?"

Brian turns to find his sister looking at him closely. If Brian is honest with himself he's known his sister has known about his life since they were teenagers. Since he would sneak out of the house at sixteen so he could go and watch all the older men hanging around the one and only gay bar in town. He knows she knows all this, but that still doesn't mean he's going to admit anything to her.

"You look at him like he's your boyfriend."

Brian drags his eyes away from Justin to look at his sister. "He's not my boyfriend."

"But there is something between you both." She pushes. Backing him into a corner.

"He's not my boyfriend," Brian repeat but this time his voice shakes, like he can't bring himself to lie again.

"So if he's not your boyfriend then what is he."

"He's my..." Brian pauses to look across the dance floor where Justin and his mom are dancing. "He's my Justin."

…...

Brian quickly leaves his sister alone at the table so he can go get another drink. He's supposed to be driving them home again, but the more time he hangs around his family the more drink he needs. He finds a small space at the bar and quickly orders himself a shot. He's only got the glass in his hand when he realizes the group of men he's standing beside happen to be his father and Uncles.

"So the boy wonder finally decided to join us." His father's voice is light but Brian can hear bitterness behind it.

"I needed a drink."

"What about your meeting?"

Brian orders another shot as he gives his father a side glance. "I'll make it."

"So Brian, your Dad tells us big things about you." Brian looks past his dad to where his Uncle stands. "He tell us your company's doing well." Brian nods his head. "Tells us you even brought your PA to the wedding." Brian nods again before looking over his shoulder to the dance floor.

"Justin," his dad says with a smirk causing his uncles to laugh.

"What?" Brian straightens up. "What's so funny."

"You and this Justin must be friends if you're willing to bring him to your cousin's wedding."

"Sure he's a friend." Brian can feel the blood drain from his face at the looks he was now getting from his Dad and Uncles.

"So is he..." Brian's father pauses to laugh. "Is he a friend of Dorothy's too?"

Brian sinks back against the bar as his Father and Uncles laugh around him. He listens to them as they all begin doing their best impressions of a fag. It only takes a few seconds of it to make him want to run. Downing the last of his drink he pushes himself from the bar and when he turns he's met with a heartbreaking sight. Standing a few feet away from him is Justin, looking like someone's just smacked him in the face. His father and Uncles have stopped laughing and are now talking in whispered tones.

"Your Mom's looking for you," Justin says in a whisper before turning and leaving Brian standing in the middle of the bar.

…...

Brian quickly finds Justin sitting back at their table alone. He cautious when he sits down beside him. He knows any sudden moments and Justin will run. "You know they're assholes."

"The biggest." Justin looks straight ahead.

"We should get out of here." Brian wants to reach out and make Justin look at him, but stops himself "We've still got time to make it to Babylon."

"Look at them."

Brian looks towards the dance floor just as the bride and groom took to the floor. "Sickening, isn't it?"

"Look at everyone else."

Brian lets his eyes scan the room at the rest of his family before settling back on Justin. "I should have said something to my Dad. I know I shouldn't have let him talk about you like that."

"No one's looking at them like they want to be sick," Justin carries on talking like he doesn't hear what Brian has just said. "You know if we went out there and danced, everyone would be horrified."

Brian looks. He watches as his cousin and her new husband begin to dance to the cheesy music they are playing. He then looks around at his family. He sees all those happy faces and knows what Justin is saying is completely true. "We can dance at Babylon. I'll even let you suck me off in the backroom."

"I've never danced with a man like that before."

"We dance all the time."

"Not like that," Justin points towards the dance floor. "You've never held me like that."

Brian feels his chest tighten at Justin's words. By the look on the younger man's face Brian knows its killing himself inside that he can't have what so called normal people have. Brian has never given a fuck about romance or any other shit that comes along with being in a relationship. He's just not build that way, but a small part of him wants that for Justin. He can feel it whenever Justin starts pouting over something he's seen. Something sickly romantic that he thinks he's missing out on. Whenever Justin gets into that mood, there is a small part of Brian that wants to give in and be the man Justin wants.

"He really loves her."

Brian looks at the groom as he looks lovingly into his new wife's eyes. "I need a smoke." Brian leaves Justin alone at the table as he heads out into the balcony.

…...

Brian hears the footsteps approach him as he takes another drag from his cigarette. He knows without even turning around who they belong to. "Justin didn't deserve that, you know."

"It was just a joke Sonny boy." Brian looks straight ahead as his Dad comes to stand beside him. "Your PA shouldn't be such a girl about things."

"Justin happens to be more of a man than anyone I know." Brian takes another drag before flicking the the cigarette over the balcony. "He's tough."

"He's still a fucking faggot."

"Don't talk about him like that," Brian snaps as he finally turns to look at his father.

"Easy Sonny boy." Brian's father holds his hands up.

"Just stop talking about Justin, okay?" Brian pulls another cigarette out and places it between his lips.

"Hey did you see the cute blonde that came with your cousin Beth?" Brian's father relaxes against the railing laughing. "What I wouldn't do to be single right now. Hey, you're into blondes, right?"

Brian smirks as an image of Justin flashes through his mind. "Yeah, I like blondes."

"You should get her number before you leave," Brian's Dad laughs. "Take her for a little spin."

"She's not my type."

"She's blonde with a nice pair, what's not to like?"

"I'm not really a breast man, Dad."

"You more of an ass man, Sonny boy?" Brian's Dad slaps his back roughly as he lets out a belly laugh.

"Exactly," Brian laughs. "I'm all about the ass."

"Well, get her number. She's got a great ass too."

"Still not my type."

"So what is your type?"

Brian takes a long drag of his cigarette before flicking it over the balcony. "Blonde, young... nine inch cock."

"Nine inch...don't be so fucking disgusting."

Brian watches out of the corner of his eye as his father shakes his head. "I guess I could settle for an eight inch."

"Brian," Jack Kinney warns. "I said don't be so fucking disgusting. You've been hanging around that fag PA too much."

"He's my type," Brian remarks as he lights up another cigarette. "He's the ass I like."

"Brian..."

"I'm gay dad," Brian interrupts. "I don't want to pick up the cute little blond because I'm going home to fuck him. I'm going to fuck him because I'm gay."

"You're not gay."

"I fuck him."

"Doesn't mean you're gay," Jack snaps. "Just means you're a fucking pervert in bed."

"I fuck men," Brian says slowly. "I fuck him."

"Still doesn't mean your gay."

"And when I'm finished fucking him I hold him," Brian flicks the cigarette over the balcony before turning to look at his Dad. "I come home from work and he's there like a little wife ready to cook for me. I hold his hand when we're watching TV, and when I imagine my life in ten years time he's the one that's by my side. Dad I love him." Brian stands with his hand gripping the railing as he waits for his Dad to say something. When the older man turns and walks away Brian can't help but laugh. It's a nervous laugh that only stops when he looks up and sees Justin standing watching him.

…...

"So your Mom's nice," Justin breaks the silence that had filled the car since they began driving twenty minutes ago. "She offered to take me shopping."

"How much did you hear?" Brian rubs his eyes with his finger tips.

"Since eight inch cock." Justin laughs as Brian groans loudly.

"So you heard..."

"That you love me?"

"Fuck." Brian slams his hand against the steering wheel. "Fuck."

"Oh calm down," Justin sighs. "I already knew you loved me."

"Don't be a smart ass."

"But you like my ass." Brian slams on the breaks causing Justin to jolt forward. "Fucking hell, Brian."

"You weren't supposed to hear all that."

"When was I supposed to hear it?" Justin asks as he takes off his seat belt. "In ten years time?"

"Just shut the fuck up," Brian sighs tiredly as he reaches to turn on the car radio. "You are so fucking annoying sometimes."

"And the rest of the time you love me." Justin settles back against the seat with a smile on his face.

"Don't get your fucking hopes up," Brian warns. "What you heard doesn't change anything. We're still not a loved up couple."

"I know," Justin sighs. "You don't have to worry. I'm not going to start wanting you to take me dancing and show me off to your family. I know we will never have our first dance in a room full of smiling people."

"Right," Brian frowns at the longing he hears in Justin's voice. "There will be no fucking dancing in a room full of people, but..."

"But?" Brian turns up the volume on the car radio causing Justin to look at him. "What are you doing?"

"Get out." Brian climbs out the car and waits and the front of it for Justin to follow.

"What are we doing?"

"Dancing," Brian smiles wide as he pulled Justin into his arms. "I know there isn't the room full of people, but there's a sky full of stars."

"Are you trying to be romantic?" Justin asks as he looks into Brian's eyes.

Brian smirks as he nodded his head. "Is it working?"

"Totally."

"Still doesn't change a fucking thing," Brian whispers before pulling Justin in for a kiss. "I'm still not your fucking boyfriend."

"But you will be," Justin answers smugly. "It might take ten years, but you will be."

"I'm going to regret ever saying that," Brian groans as he rested his head on Justin's shoulder.

"Don't worry, your secrets safe with me."

"Yeah?" Brian pulls away to look down at the younger man.

"Well, I'll be telling Gus, but that's okay. He won't tell anyone."

"Gus," Brian whispers with a warm smile. "You love Gus, don't you?"

"What's not to love?"

"He loves you too," Brian remarks. "You can see it every time he looks at you."

"Like father like son?" Justin smirks.

"Don't be a smart ass," Brian warns as he smacks Justin on the butt.

"But you like my ass."

"Just get in the car." Brian pushes Justin towards the passenger side. "Justin?"

"Yeah?"

"When you're telling Gus about tonight can you tell him one more thing?" Brian pulls open the driver's side door as Justin stops and looks at him.

"Sure."

"Tell him he's going to be calling you Papa one day." Brian climbs into the driver's seat leaving Justin to stare ahead of him in shock.

The End...


End file.
